Some Cool One Liners!

* I say no to drugs they just don't listen

* A friend in need is a pest indeed.

* Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

* Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.

* When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.

* The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train.

* Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

* Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

* Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

* If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

* It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.

* I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.

* A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

* The hardest part of skating is the ice.

* My phone number is 17. We got one of the early ones.

* The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.

* The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

* In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

* If you tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, he'll believe you. But if you tell him a park bench has just been painted, he has to touch it to be sure.

* I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and he got away.

* If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?

* Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!

* If you can't convince them, confuse them.

* It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.

* I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

* Hot glass looks same as cold glass. -Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers.

* The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.

* Someday is not a day of the week.

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