Best Jokes

Hello Top Jokes Readers, Our main contributors are going to be inactive for a few months as they have started some serious studies for their Board Exams. With this reason, this blog will be inactive for the time being and we apologize for this. See you all back soon...

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do: 1.They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that. 2.Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that. 3.Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too. 4.Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. - Sigh.. Windows does that, too. 5.Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. - Yup, Windows does that, too. Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature. So Windows is not a virus. It's a bug.

Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope. Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years" Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button. When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C". Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125. After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.